Well, here I am again.
After a hiatus of eight years, I’ve dusted off my personal website, started relearning some old data and programming skills, and restarted this blog. But this rebirth is just the tip of the proverbial change iceberg. It is enabled by the fact that I have left my job to refocus myself on a few important things that I have been neglecting.
This post is more personal than anything I’ve written publicly before, and I’m sure my future posts will return to a data and policy theme. But I feel the need to state all this for the record, if for no other reason than to crystallize it all in my own mind.
What am I refocusing on?
First, my health. A routine doctor visit in late 2022 revealed some concerning things that led to a minor health scare. I’m under doctor’s orders to get more active, lose a little weight, and minimize caffeine and alcohol, and so far I’ve been taking those orders to heart. I exercise regularly, drink very little, and have made good progress on my weight loss. I’m writing this while drinking decaf coffee at a coffee shop that I biked to!
A corollary to this physical health focus is an improvement in mental health as well. It seems without a periodic shakeup in routine, I have a tendency to narrow my focus on my current job, hunker down, and plow forward. This has allowed me to achieve great successes and overcome huge obstacles in my career, but by causing me to lose focus on the other important things in my life, it increases my stress, separates me from my family and friends, and eventually leads me to a place where every day is a slog and I don’t remember why I’m torturing myself to do what I’m doing. The current pause in my career has already paid huge dividends in increased happiness, ability to be present for my family, and time spent considering my purpose and goals.
Second, my kids. I have two boys, in the midst of their teen and tween years. They’re great kids–smart, funny, kind–but they have their share of issues too. Some are the normal things all high school and middle schoolers go through; peer pressure, college anxiety, mood swings, physical changes. But they have their own unique challenges too (don’t we all!). As I stressed my way through my work days, I was left with little emotional energy to help them with their problems, which in turn caused me more stress. I was unhappy at work and unhappy at home (even as remote work made both of them the same place), and I knew I was letting them down. The additional time and space afforded by my lack of an 8-5 job has let me reconnect with them, and while no parent-teen relationship is all sunshine and roses, we’re all in a better, happier, healthier place.
Third, all the other little things. We’re all juggling myriad responsibilities in life, and the more we juggle, the more likely we are to drop a few balls. Setting aside the huge responsibility of a job for a bit has paid dividends for my family relationships and health, but also for all the other things I had been juggling or failing to juggle. My garden is actually producing vegetables this year. My investment portfolio is rebalanced. The house is cleaner. I get the kids and the cars to all their appointments. I say yes to lunch dates. I’m volunteering regularly with my kids at the local food bank. I journal. I read whole actual books! And I’ve even started doing some of the cooking, which my wife can tell you has been (and still is) a big source of stress for me. The longer this sabbatical extends, the more comfortable I have become expanding my circle of activities.
Last but far from least, my purpose and goals in life. This is the third such pause I’ve taken in my career, and at its core is always this. What matters the most to me is what I do and how well I do it, not how busy I am or how much money I make. I know that my privilege and good fortune are what allow me this great luxury, but if I’m going to have them, I should figure out how to use them to best effect, not just clock in every day to pull down a paycheck. So when I recognize the stress and the directionlessness beginning to overwhelm me, I know it’s time to pull back and reset. Does this mean I’m going to come out of this with the one true job that will bring me perfect fulfillment and maximize my positive effect on the world? No. I’m not sure there is such a thing. I’ve already spent lots of years doing things I believe in and that I’m proud of, and none of those jobs were perfect either. But I hope at least to come out of this doing the next good thing.
What are my next steps?
- Writing - This blog post, my personal journal, other interesting projects. My last job didn’t require much writing beyond emails, and I feel the lack of it. One thing I know about myself is that I don’t really know what I think until I’ve written it down. Getting back in the habit should pay dividends personally and professionally.
- Data Projects - I enjoy pulling previously unseen information and knowledge out of data. And now I have the time to explore data I find interesting. At the same time, I can brush up on some older skills and learn new ones! Watch this site for evidence of what I’m working on and playing with.
- Social Policy - My career has spanned disparate policy areas, including transportation funding, affordable housing and homelessness, vehicle emissions reduction, government financial transparency, social determinants of health, energy, education, etc etc. I guess I’m a “good policy” generalist. I’ll step up my reading, attend some presentations, and reach out to my connections in search of an area where I can make a meaningful contribution.
So there it is: what I’ve done, what I’m doing, where I’m headed. I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but I’m approaching it with intentional, measured steps and a healthy dose of optimism. Wish me luck!